Survival Stories...

Something has been on my mind for some time.  It started as a whisper from God and in His persistence, I'm proceeding here sharing it with you.  I do so with much prayer.

Sexual abuse is a very common but usually incredibly private issue.  Although victims of sexual abuse are not responsible for the abuse there is a huge stigma associated, despite how common the occurrence.  I have had the privilege of hearing many survivors bravely share their stories with me over the last 15 years...some breathing their reality for the first time.  I know that even though these stories are shared with tears, the result is relief.  To give voice to their experience is healing.  Some have shared with me events that dated back 50+ years and the rawness of the emotion was as if it were just yesterday.  As I've looked into their eyes and they speak it seems a window opens up and their souls are visible...and free.  It is a truly beautiful experience for these bold and strong survivors, one I am thankful and blessed to be a part of.

If this sounds all too familiar to you, if you can relate to this at all, if you have a story that needs to find its voice, I want to help.  I will admit that I am not a trained counselor or therapist but I am trying desperately to be obedient to God.  There are people who need to share and God is calling me to listen with love.  I vow to you that I will listen in confidence.  I will listen with compassion.  And I will pray for God's healing in your life.

I understand the delicacy so I encourage you to post anonymously here, private message me through Facebook Messenger (Angie Wainright), or email me at angie.wainright@gmail.

I make this offer with complete sincerity and God's leading.

Much Love...

So, this is what He said to me...

Stop digging through the Bible looking for a lesson to teach.  Dig looking for ME!  Help is there for every imaginable situation.  You will grow as you seek Me and lessons will spring forth from your growth.  Watch out for temptation...it won't be blatant.  It won't be noticeable.  You will need Me to fight, protect, shield, strengthen & encourage you.  My mission for you can't be done in your strength.  You have strength, gifts and talents but they must be carefully wielded by Me--Let me do this.  Stop being so "do" oriented.  Be "surrender" oriented.  Be you with your uniqueness but also you yielded and filled with Me.  You can't live a life that gives glory to God without God.  You need Me for wisdom, strength & love!  Beware of friendship with the world.  My grace is sufficient.  When will people realize My offer is un-matched?  When will you realize what is available for all who believe?  Me and all I bring to the table is yours.  I'm not just salvation.  I'm not just an ever-present help in times of trouble.  Yes, I am those things but I'm also the wisdom you need to make decision, the strength you need to know when NOT to speak and know what to speak when it's time.  I am the grace to offer to those in need and a surplus of love for all you encounter.  After all, it is by that love that others will know you are Mine and likewise then--know Me.  Love is in demand in this world both by those who are aware they need it and by those that are too lost in their circumstances and hurt to be able to identify their problem or seek Me.  They are on the battlefield, in the heat of battle...defeat breathing down their necks.  That is where I am needed--that is where I am!  It is for those souls that I linger.  It is for those souls that I call you.  My spirit within you will draw you to them, teach you what to say and do, and prepare both of you for the encounter when all three of us meet.  Your surrender is necessary.  Your obedience is necessary.  Fix your eyes on Me. 



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I need your help...

I'm just beginning to teach a Bible Study that I am writing myself after I dig through the scriptures and study different resource materials.  It is my FAVORITE past-time.  The name of the study is Fix Your Eyes On Jesus and it is based on Hebrews 12:1-3.  The gist of the study in a very condensed form is that we as Christians can follow the example set before us by faith-filled saints in scriptures and especially by Jesus Himself.  We are to keep our focus fixed on Him and run our God-given race with endurance.

In our first session we talked about our individual "races".  The way we feel as we run that race and the physical, spiritual and emotional toll it takes on us are very real parts of our journey.  In upcoming sessions together we will get to the portion of the above mentioned scripture that refers to growing "weary in our minds".  Let's face it, at differing levels we have all been weary minded--more than once in our lives! 

I say all of that to ask for your input:  We have all been in situations where we were weary.  I know that and you know that.  What we don't always know is the source of that weariness.  Because sometimes we face very private struggles.  We face giants that are kept behind closed doors.  We are up to our eyeballs (or deeper) in a battle that is only complicated by the fact that we can't voice a word of it to anyone due to shame or complications that may result from speaking it into a more tangible reality.

If you felt you could freely discuss your struggles and situations without risk of judgment from others, we might be more tempted to do so.  I know how I personally have felt in times of weariness, but I would love to hear from some of you.  I will toss the following questions out for thought in our next session.  If you would be willing to elaborate on them for me it would help me prepare.  You have the advantage of sharing privately with me where the class obviously will not.

If you would like to answer the following questions for me...you may go to my website at www.justmorejesus.com and use to the "contact me" tab and fill in the "comment" section of the form with your answers.  The form asks for your email and contact information but you can leave it all blank and only use the "comments" section.  An email will be sent to me at my private email address.  Thank you in advance for your participation.


Remember, you have total freedom to be honest because there is no way that I will ever know who you are...I appreciate your willingness to participate.



When your eyes are fixed on Jesus as scripture says, it means that you are to take them off of  
______(your situation)_____ and put them on Jesus.


I want you to think about your situation and finish the sentences below:


With your eyes fixed on _____(your situation)_____ you feel:

If you give voice to your thoughts they would sound like this:

If you could act anyway you want to as a result it would look like this:

Any Additional Comments:





Thank you!!  :)
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The testing of the elasticity of my skin. . .

I went to Victory Baptist Church in St. Mary's to share God's Word with an incredible group of women.  I find myself totally overwhelmed over and over by God's goodness.  I mean, really, can His grace be any more humbling?

It's always interesting to go into different groups and meet so many awesome ladies.  I'm greeted so warmly by them and we do the necessary introductions.  Then, without fail, after we open God's Word and I share what God has given me, a transformation takes place.  As we open our souls to hear from God, something really unique happens.  During that period of time--with our souls exposed--we as a body of women are bound together in a new and special way.  After closing prayers, we beat a path to each other to embrace.  Them to me and me to them.  As a new, united sisterhood of believers, all of our barriers are removed and our hearts are tied together with a pretty bow by God Himself.  I'm floored by it every time.  It causes such emotion to well up in me.  I love them in a completely new way.  We are family now--strangers no more.  Heaven must be much the same way.

I love His Word, I need it.  I love sharing His Word, I have to.  It is fuel for my soul.  I feel as if I could run a marathon and fall in the floor in a pool of tears.  I'm a vessel, emptied out and yet completely filled.  I'm overwhelmed at the work of my Heavenly Father.  Oh my! How I am humbled and privileged to be a part of it.  I cannot contain my praise...else the rocks cry out and my skin bursts.  Oh YES my friends...I praise Him.



 

I Promise, not on my word , but His.

I'm reading a book right now by Francine Rivers.  It's actually a two book series, Her Mother's Hope and Her Daughter's Dream.  I'm on the second one.  Its always so neat to me how God puts things in front of us as we need them...maybe in the form of a book like this, or a sermon, a song, a friend...the list could go on.  God isn't limited in how He can communicate with us.  We could over think and analyze this--Was it really God?  Did I create that in my own head?  Am I making more of this than it really is?  Is this all just by chance?  But we aren't going to waste time with those questions today.  I've got too much running through the ole brain to psychoanalyze a message...especially when there is so much to be gained from the message.

I have had periods of times in my life where I felt I didn't hear from God at all.  Those times are difficult to say the least.  Again, I don't want to get distracted chasing a rabbit that is off the subject at hand so I'm going to try to avoid that (difficult for a wordy person, like myself!).  I've been hearing messages from God everywhere lately.  In CRAZY places.  As odd as it is, I haven't for one second wondered if it was Him or if I was just tying together random events out of some wacko mind set of my own.  All the messages are on the same theme.  They've come in a variety of ways--even lines in a TV show that I wasn't even watching and I "just happened"  to overhear.  I am thrilled to be out of a season of silence and in a season of information overload.  (PS. God, lets stay in this open-communication season!!) It makes blood pump through my veins with excitement.

So, what's the message being nailed home?  Unfortunately I can't put it all into words right now.  Its as if it is too big to be captured in a sentence or two--even in a novel.  I soak in it, bathe in it, relish it, think on it, love it.  The foundation of my desire in ministry is to leave with you a feeling of overwhelming love and acceptance that my friend and savior Jesus Christ continues to give to me.  Without much elaboration, after a lifetime of living a life that left me empty and lacking--even injured, sometimes by my own actions--He LOVED me when I hated myself.  He didn't come to me and list my mistakes or even remind me of them occasionally.  Nope, He just loved me back to health and He hasn't stopped.  I beg Him to allow me to be used to love you that way too.  Knowing all of that, the messages I've been getting lately, combined with my God given mission, made the passage from the book jump off the page at me.

On that note, as I was reading my book I came across a few lines that I knew right away I had to share here.  The excerpt is in a conversation between two women.  One who has a past of poor decisions and she has been completely redeemed by God.  The other woman is in the midst of her heartache.  She is a victim of childhood sexual abuse, she is an alcoholic who has experimented with multiple drugs, she was homeless for years, her brother was killed, and she has been kicked out of her house because she's pregnant out of wedlock.  She feels judged, condemned, guilty & ashamed.  The two women are sitting on the beach and the woman speaking in the quote below has just told the pregnant girl to go write all her sins on the beach, every single one.  She gets a few things written when a wave comes and washes away her words.  She keeps at the task as the waves continue to come one after another, washing away all she writes.  Finally, she finishes.  The quote below is what is said to her next by the woman Jesus is using to love the young, hurting, pregnant girl.    

"Jesus said He came to save us, not condemn us.  He took our sins upon Himself.  He paid the price to set you free.  God is like the waves, honey.  He washes away your sins.  He offers you the free gift of grace, the added bonus of the Holy Spirit dwelling in you, and eternal life as well.  You have decisions to make, but the biggest one is what you're going to believe about Him.  Ask Him in, and He'll take care of the rest."

In the end, it isn't what all we've done wrong...its about what He has done for us.  The gift of grace.  It's not a question of worthiness, that would bring your actions back into focus instead of putting the focus where it should be, on Jesus. 

Jesus came to save you, not condemn you.  Ask Him in, and He'll take care of everything else.  Believe Him.  He is able, no matter what's on your list of wrongs.  Promise, not on my word, but His. 

Secrets need grace and love.

I've had the opportunity lately to be around some beautiful souls who are dealing very quietly with a variety of struggles.  It hurts me to see that and I feel nearly compelled to nurture them.  I wish we as a society felt more comfortable with living our struggles out loud.  Yet, we who struggle risk harsh judgement and we feel we'd be crazy to share one whisper of our secrets and private battles.  What we are choosing instead is to hurt alone and in seclusion.  Slap that pretty face on.  Grin and bear it.  Hold it all together.  Keep the hurt or shame or pain right behind the teeth of that pretty smile.

Misery.  Played very well, right into the hands of our enemy.  (I do not like him.)  He'd not be any more effective at crippling people if he walked right up in our homes breaking legs and binding bodies. He loves secrets.  He loves hurts.  He loves false fronts.  He loves seclusion.  If you have a secret...and nearly ALL of us do...before you know it, the enemy will have that secret in his hands and beat you with it like it's a baseball bat.


What are we to do?  Air our dirty laundry to everyone?  Breathe a sigh of relief.  That's not necessary.  But you do need to be taking it to God every single second that it rolls through your head.  If you are not sitting it at the feet of God, odds are, the enemy has a hold of it and he is tireless as he beats you down and ties you up.       


Just a few lies the enemy may be telling you about your secret:

• You should really be ashamed.  
• People will never understand how you did that.
• Sure other people do bad things, but not that bad.
• You've already done it now, you might as well enjoy it while it lasts.
• You deserve it!
• Everyone around you does things they shouldn't, why don't you get to enjoy it too.
• As long as no one knows, it's okay.
• You are the only one who stands to be hurt so what does it matter to anyone else?
• They deserve the way you treat them.
• Don't be such a bother, no one cares what you feel like.
• One more time can't hurt.
• You need to look out for your self, if someone gets hurt, too bad.
• You are in too deep, there is no turning around now.
• If you were smarter, nicer, or prettier--they wouldn't have treated you like that.

BIGGER   FATTER   DANGEROUS   LIE:

• The fact that you are where you are is your own fault.  No need to even try to take this to God!  How many times can He forgive you, pick you up, help you out?  You aren't good enough to even ask for His help.  It's too late.  No way He can love you now.  (LIE.  LIE.  LIE.  Jesus died for you knowing you were a big fat mess without Him.  He did it to show you His love for you. Romans 5:8)    

Whatever situation you find yourself silently dealing with....it can be powerfully destructive.  It can be bigger than you.  It can be huge.  It may look to you like there is no solution and no way out.  BUT...it CANNOT be bigger than God.  You don't have the one problem that is going to be too difficult for Him.  Listen to this little tid-bit...pretty important part here:  Nothing can separate us from the love God has for us.  NOTHING!  (Romans 8:37-39)  His love is pure.  His love is safe.  His love will not fail you. (1 Corinthians 13:1-8)  You can trust Him.

Get to it...go tell God your secrets.  Don't wait another single second because telling Him keeps Satan from being able to use them to hurt you more.  Sometimes Satan will convince you to start worrying about that secret again and at that point...remind him that Jesus has all your secrets.  While Jesus has them, they are His to deal with!  You may have to remind Satan frequently at first...but as fast as your mouth can move, you can do it...again and again!

As we live day to day, we have to realize that everyone has junk.  Everyone.  Try really hard to extend some grace to someone today.  If someone chews your head off down to your shoulders, maybe they've had a bad day and could stand a grace pass.  Stay away from assumptions.  Don't jump to conclusions.  You never know what's going on behind closed doors.  Instead, try to ask how people are, then stop and listen to their answer.  Smile at someone.  Pass out some hugs.  Give away some grace passes.  They don't cost you anything and you never know what it might mean to someone else. 

Grace of Christ

I read the following in a commentary when preparing for a lesson.  It really resonated with me and I've re-read it often.  I wanted to share it here for any others of you who may especially appreciate the grace of Christ.  His grace not only covers our trespasses but also our shortcomings in fully understanding who He is.  This author described it more beautifully than I could have described my own feelings.  You may have to read it more than once to fully soak it in...I did...and do.  Enjoy...

The only God Paul had known was a "task mater who paid strictly for service done".  His idea of God was the seat of his trouble.  With a soul profoundly religious by nature, he yearned for a god whom no lawbook could provide...He never found his sense of worth, dignity & adequacy until he experienced the grace of Christ.  The assurance of the psalmist, "He restoreth my soul" was fulfilled for Paul only in Jesus.  Grace therefore brought health, gladness, courage, & worth-wileness to Paul.  It also brought him into proper mental focus & fellowship with the God he had so misunderstood.  He found that grace, not law, revealed God's real nature.