Get out of my way circumstances. You are attempting to block my view of my Savior. Umm, not something I'm willing to let happen. Sure, you might get away with it for a while, but I refuse to live with blocked vision.
How many times do I utter the words, "Ugh, I just don't know what to do!" Usually while I'm either running my fingers through my hair, crying my eyeballs out, pacing the floor or all three. Has it ever occurred to you that we--me and you--make living this life too difficult?
Have you ever found yourself wishing someone would just sweep in and take up the fight for you? How about take up the fight and let you rest, fill you with peace, heal you, and love you while they fight for you? Have you ever felt overwhelmed and wondered how much longer you can keep it all up? I have. For a very simple example (Even though it sure didn't feel simple at the time!!), I remember when all of my three girls were small and I was dropping them off at daycare before going to work when I ran into my brother. He was bringing his children to the same daycare. He walked over to one of my little ones and picked her up which gave him a good view of a few fingernails that needed a little trimming. Okay, maybe they needed a little more than trimming, maybe they needed cutting, like last month. Now, as I'm sure you can relate, I was juggling three balls at one time and if I even thought about resting, one of the balls threatened to fall in the floor and then everything would come crashing down. I was, like many of you, a wife and mother & I worked full time. In my juggling act, I was just releasing one ball milli-seconds before I had to catch the next. The picture I am trying to draw is--soon and very soon it was all going to crash down around me. I was overwhelmed.
So, my brother has my little girl and he (not meaning any harm) says, "Does your uncle need to cut your fingernails for your mama so you won't scratch anybody?" Yep, that was the straw. Without intending to hurt me, he had called me out and drawn attention to something I was failing to do in front of all the super-mama's & daddy's, all the employees of the day care & (the very worst critic of all) me! What he might as well have said was, "Oh my goodness! Look at these horrible fingernails! Your mama needs to get with it. Can't she do anything right? Have your nails ever been cut?! Bless your little, neglected heart. I'm a perfect daddy and I am the best fingernail cutter, ever. I'll take care of you sweet baby, since your mama obviously can't."
Yes, I know. Drastic exaggeration. But that's what my heart did to me that day. I was so tired. Today I don't deal with cutting fingernails anymore but I still have "stuff". There are always going to be things in our lives. Sometimes they are little things, like fingernails. Other times, they are things that sneak up behind us and obliterate us like a bomb, drastically altering life as we know it. Without fail, we struggle to get our footing. We trip over hurt and confusion. We stumble over worry and fear. We hold on desperately to control and pride. We look for possible solutions here and there. We may even stop and try to re-focus but circumstances fill our eyes and feelings scream in our ears.
Maybe you say, don't my feelings matter? They are real! And what about those circumstances, they are pretty stinkin' real too! Yes, you are right. Your circumstances are real and your feelings ABSOLUTELY matter. Not just to me, but even more importantly, to your Savior. It would be really easy to think Here she is talking about stupid fingernails but my circumstances make fingernails look like a play-doh. I know right where your coming from. You've got one of those "bomb-type" of situations and your desperate. Good news: the same truths apply to both big and small circumstances. As long as you are focusing on them, you can't see Jesus. Peter walked on water toward Jesus, until he looked at the wind & waves. (Matt 14:28-31) You might have one heck of a battle in front of you. You may even be sitting right smack-dab in the center of one right now. You may be at a crossroads with the direction of your life. You might have some things that seem to have no solution. You know what? That isn't your fight. It isn't your fight! For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. (2 Chron 20:12) So, is that it, do you just face eminent defeat? Oh but no! Because scripture goes on to say, We do not know what to do, BUT our eyes are upon You! Verse 15 of the same chapter says, This is what the Lord says to you: Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army (or your circumstances). For the battle is not yours, but God's. AMEN! (and thank goodness, right?!)
Are you tired? Are you overwhelmed? Are your circumstances hurting you? Are they clouding your outlook? God Almighty is the only answer. Exodus 14:14 says He will fight for YOU, sweet & dearly loved child, and you shall keep your peace. He is with us right now. He helps us. He fights for us. (2 Chron 32:8)
Let's not try to do this living thing on our own. Let's not try to make it so difficult. That's why we have a Savior! Let's take our eyes off the wind & waves and put them back on Him.
Dear Circumstances, move.
_____________________________________________________
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Ramblings...
Hi Friends of mine!! I hope you all are doing just g-r-e-a-t (Tony the tiger style). I'm really working on new ideas for Just More Jesus. I'm thinking of ways to get the word spread. I'm praying about it constantly and I have full confidence that God will make a way. YOU may be a part of that so run your mouth. Tell anyone and everyone you know. In my efforts to spread the word, I made these videos (out of the box living for me!!) and I've gotten some really nice comments about the first video so I figured, why not make another one issuing a public "Thank You"--Which you may see below: (If you happen to have seen the "Thank You" video on YouTube, this is the same video here. I've only done two so far. I've posted both on YouTube and both here.)
Isn't it funny that I managed to talk for two more minutes after I said I'm not gonna keep you any longer. Sorry!!
On another note, I also should probably explain that even though that particular Sunday School class flopped, I have been very fortunate to lead other Sunday School classes and Bible Studies. I am very grateful for those opportunities and for the sweet, dependable people who were faithful to show up for each meeting. I am appreciative of their efforts. I can love to teach and share God's Word but I've gotta have people willing to listen or otherwise I'm like a little girl playing school with her dolls. So, those of you who have been nice enough to attend the classes and studies--I'm forever grateful. If I'm going to tell a (not so positive) experience I had, I need to be willing to share a positive one. Just so happens I actually have one (smile, wink, wink). Right after I tried to start that class that I refer to in the video, I began, also through the church, a six week Bible study that I was inspired to write. The first night we were to meet you can know I was very nervous. Let's not forget that I had just had the multiple no-show experiences. Now, please don't misunderstand me here. I know that it isn't about numbers. The number of people present in no way determines how the Holy Spirit shows up and works. However, for a girl who had just come off of a rather humiliating experience with the Sunday School class, God decided to baby me a little. We had so many people show up that we had to move to a larger room and bring in extra chairs. Wow, how humbling. Don't think God can't do things for you. He can! He does! He's teaching us when we think we're just "living" day to day. The lessons are there, the questions is, am I looking and listening.
In this life we are living, it's very easy to get so busy that we don't notice anything other than how behind we are at work, how tired we are, what a mess our houses are, what bills are overdue, who has a doctor's appointment & what on earth everyone in my house is going to eat tonight...BUT, I am challenging myself & you too this upcoming week. Step outside your box. Find a friend to say hi to that you haven't spoken to in a while, check on a neighbor, call a family member you don't speak with regularly, send a real letter to someone in the real mail (I love to get real mail instead of just bills, don't you?!), do something out of your ordinary rat race to connect with a person. It only takes a few minutes and you have no idea the impact your few minutes may have on their life. If we aren't careful (me included) we can get so comfy in our own lives that we cease our outside of the box involvement. When you start getting yourself alone in your own world, you are in dangerous territory. You become easy prey for Satan to start selling you lies. I know this one. Perhaps you sit on the end where you need someone to reach out to you. If you feel that way and you realize it--please REACH OUT. I know its hard. I've been there (recently). I guarantee you whatever contact you have will begin to turn your perspective. If you can't muster up the courage to do anything else, you can go to my website www.justmorejesus.com and use the "contact me" tab to send me an email. I will get back to you. Promise. God doesn't want us to be alone. He intends for us to fellowship with each other, encourage each other, cry with each other, laugh with each other--just build relationships. They are the ONLY thing we get to take with us into eternity.
PS-------> I love you--but more importantly--your Savior loves you.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Obedient Steps = Hard Steps
I spent the day trying to prepare a couple of videos yesterday and boy was that weird...oh, and hard...and awkward, and uncomfortable...wait, did I say hard?...oh yes, and difficult, embarrassing AND hilarious! I wish now I hadn't deleted all the attempts I made because they could make a great outtakes reel. I'm really going to save those "attempts" next time so that when I have a friend who is kinda in a blue mood--the outtake reel is on the way to turn the frown upside down.
I've created a YouTube channel (with the following video) and have even considered trying some video blogs?? Stay tuned.
Nice still, right?
I've got a few ideas buzzing in my head and am spending a great deal of time praying about it. As soon as I can, I'll be sharing them with you...and maybe even calling you up to help! :)
You know, every single thing we experience, feel, hear, go through, do, live around, hear about...everything, is part of a bigger plan and picture. Nothing at all is by accident. Try to remember as your walking through your busy days that there is a bigger picture here and if we aren't careful, the activities of today, yesterday & tomorrow will steal our focus from God. I know it happens to me. (Not sure where that came from, rather random, I admit.)
Please, pretty please, keep praying for me and Just More Jesus. I'm up-beat some days and then again, some days I'm ready to throw in the towel. I don't have any logical explanation for some of the things I am doing and thinking about doing--but I do know that pressure from the Holy Spirit only increases when you hesitate on a directive. So, I keep stepping...and it's always out there in that daunting, uncomfortable zone. Some steps, the pressure really has to be turned up before I pick up my foot! Whew! However, what do I have to lose? Right?
I've created a YouTube channel (with the following video) and have even considered trying some video blogs?? Stay tuned.
Nice still, right?
I've got a few ideas buzzing in my head and am spending a great deal of time praying about it. As soon as I can, I'll be sharing them with you...and maybe even calling you up to help! :)
You know, every single thing we experience, feel, hear, go through, do, live around, hear about...everything, is part of a bigger plan and picture. Nothing at all is by accident. Try to remember as your walking through your busy days that there is a bigger picture here and if we aren't careful, the activities of today, yesterday & tomorrow will steal our focus from God. I know it happens to me. (Not sure where that came from, rather random, I admit.)
Please, pretty please, keep praying for me and Just More Jesus. I'm up-beat some days and then again, some days I'm ready to throw in the towel. I don't have any logical explanation for some of the things I am doing and thinking about doing--but I do know that pressure from the Holy Spirit only increases when you hesitate on a directive. So, I keep stepping...and it's always out there in that daunting, uncomfortable zone. Some steps, the pressure really has to be turned up before I pick up my foot! Whew! However, what do I have to lose? Right?
Thursday, September 22, 2011
He is ABLE---Period!
Do you believe that I am able to do this? (Matt 9:28)...Well, do you? Do you believe that I can handle everything for you? Even the things you've made a dreadful mess of? Do you believe I can work within you to make you complete, content, peaceful & fulfilled? Do you believe that I can make your soul brand new by working from your heart out? Do you believe that your children are safe with Me? Do you trust Me? I am safe. Do you believe that I can satisfy all your needs? Do you believe that I know EVERYTHING there is to know about you and yet I still love you? Do you really, really believe that? Do you know it in your heart? I love you child. Did you hear me? I said, I love you...dearly, completely, just as you are. Do you believe that I can work through you? Do you believe that I care about you? Do you believe that I can take care of you & those you love? Do you believe that those issues that weigh heavy on your heart...I know about them and I've got it. Do you believe what My Word says? Do you believe that I AM GOD? According to your faith, it will be done to you. (Matt 9:29) Yes, your belief in Me has that much power. More power than you can even know as long as you've got your fingernails cinching deep in every aspect of your life...frantically trying to work it all out. What are you so afraid of? There is no fear in love. My perfect love drives out fear. Will you just trust Me child? Will you stop struggling & start believing Me ABLE?
-He is able to save completely those who come to God through Him because He always lives to intercede for them. Heb 7:25
-Yet I am not ashamed because I know whom I have believed & am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him for that day. 2 Tim 1:12
-To Him who is able to keep you from falling & to present you before His glorious presence without fault & with great joy. Jude 24
Thank you for allowing me to write this from God's perspective...I want to share with you as He says it to me. Please know that I have taken this all to Him in prayer before posting.
__________________________________________
Called & commissioned by God to serve Him through this ministry, I would be honored to come to speak to your group or church. I love to learn more about Jesus and His love and then share His Word with others.
Contact me:
Website www.justmorejesus.com and use the "contact me" tab.
Email me directly at: angie@justmorejesus.com
Facebook page: Just More Jesus
Mailing address: PO Box 1372, Brunswick, GA 31521
I look forward to hearing from you!!
-He is able to save completely those who come to God through Him because He always lives to intercede for them. Heb 7:25
-Yet I am not ashamed because I know whom I have believed & am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him for that day. 2 Tim 1:12
-To Him who is able to keep you from falling & to present you before His glorious presence without fault & with great joy. Jude 24
Thank you for allowing me to write this from God's perspective...I want to share with you as He says it to me. Please know that I have taken this all to Him in prayer before posting.
__________________________________________
Called & commissioned by God to serve Him through this ministry, I would be honored to come to speak to your group or church. I love to learn more about Jesus and His love and then share His Word with others.
Contact me:
Website www.justmorejesus.com and use the "contact me" tab.
Email me directly at: angie@justmorejesus.com
Facebook page: Just More Jesus
Mailing address: PO Box 1372, Brunswick, GA 31521
I look forward to hearing from you!!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Sitting in Silence
For a person who always runs her mouth, sitting before God in silence isn't the easiest thing I've ever done but it is what He's asking for me at this time. I'm getting phrases from Him and with each Word I'm growing. It's pretty incredible and humbling to be before Him and just wait in His presence, listening. He is the air I breathe. He is God Almighty.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Inspired Inspiration...
Over the years journaling has become a safe place for me to physically write out my hurt, frustration, whining, confusion, praise, joy, & flat out raw anger. My prayer concerns and thanksgivings also find their way to the page. I ask God questions. I thank Him. I praise Him. I complain (probably more than I'm willing to admit) and I just let it pour right on out on the paper--no matter what it is. The good, the bad and the ugly. As a thought comes to my mind, right on the paper it falls.
One particular day I was busy at it and something different happened. Instead of my writing being thoughts that were originating in my head it was like I was hearing them. I began to put them down as they came to me and it was as if I was taking down dictation. I wrote as quickly as I could. Several minutes later, it stopped. Done. Silence. I haven't ever had an experience like that before and I haven't had one since. Even though it was only a few months back...I'd give anything to "hear" again--to hear like that every minute of every day.
Last week I began to think that I needed to share it here with you here. I do so with a certain amount of hesitation because it was such an unusual event. Lots of times when you share special things like this--no one else seems to "get it" the way you felt it. However, as is the case when God is leading me to do something. I have the thought. I almost always initially dismiss it because it is usually something I don't want to do right away. When I finally have the same thought over and over and nothing new comes to me I decide God's waiting on me to realize that I need to obey Him on that "step" before He gives me the next step to take.
So, maybe there is something in what follows that will encourage you in your journey. Yours isn't going to be what mine is, nor mine what yours is--but, you DO have a God given journey ahead. As you take steps of faith, as you walk in obedience, as you prepare...know this:
Persecution will come. Be ready for it. Recognize it for what it is--persecution. Proceed as though it did not happen. Check yourself against the Word. That is the only voice you should pay attention to. You may be surprised at the mouths from which persecution comes. Fear not. Proceed. Sit your heart in My hands to be guarded. Keep your emotions in check. Attacks will be directed at your weaknesses but your weaknesses are MY strengths. This is MY mission. My goals. Mine to defend. It is not your job to defend against attacks. The battle goes on even now over your head. I am fighting for you now. You will get Satan's attention. Be bold. Don't be deterred. Proceed as if you are running a race to a clearly marked finish line and as if you children's lives are at stake. This is no game. Souls linger in the balance. Your obedience to deliver messages from me will be crucial for the outcome of some soul's eternity. Don't give up. They are all around you--lost souls--blending into your life. Lost is a little word to describe the destiny of those souls. It is vital that you go--without fear. Bold. It won't be easy so you have been prepared. Expect difficulty. Be diligent to pray. Get others to pray for you, with you. My mission is more important that the oxygen you breathe. You don't go alone. God and a host of angels go with you. You aren't fighting for Me, I am fighting for you. Take My Word. It is imperative. It is time. There is no luxury here--only see the souls. There are real flames for lost souls. An eternity of mental and physical anguish awaits. That is why I call it saved. I am saving them from torment. Eternal torment. Your heart has been softened and prepared every day of your life--just for this. What you all think is important in life amounts to nothing. I see Kingdom pictures--you don't. Give them the vision. Kingdom knowledge. Kingdom vision. Kingdom senses. Be ready to feel the burden of the lost souls you are surrounded by. You will know the reason and feeling behind the tears that were shed over Jerusalem before the crucifixion. This isn't pretend or play. Don't forget, I am sending you. Stop questioning worthiness. You aren't worthy in your flesh but I have made you my child and your soul is paid for. It is not a question of worthiness. It is a question of necessity brought on by the immense love I feel for all my people. Why question worthiness? If your worthiness got you this mission then it'd be about you and not me. I love you. I love them. Do you understand love? No. You have no means by which to compare it or comprehend it--but you will. Hold on to ME. Go. I have equipped you. I DO see what lies ahead and I have all the necessary items. Weep over the lost. I want you to feel the necessity of the deliverance of my message. You haven't known "important" before now. Mission-minded. My Kingdom awaits. Listen to me child. I love you. I didn't make a mistake in choosing you for this. Don't forget that. Stay close to Me at all times. Keep refueling on My written Word. Focus on Me. Focus on lost-ness. Stay in Me. I've got this. I've got you. Go. Remember, you aren't going alone. Armies--do you hear me--full out armies go with you, ahead of you, around you, behind you--and your family. It won't be easy--but I've got it all. You are ready. I've got this.
I typed it as it was given and I know it kinda flips and flops around...but, they aren't my words to arrange. I won't try to add anything to that. Even a couple months later it is equally as powerful to me as it was that morning. It's as if He let me write down a pep-talk He had for me. After I finished writing it all down, I knew--somehow--that He wanted someone to read that back to me. I walked it right over to Abby and had her read it out loud to me. I've typed it up and I carry it around with me everywhere. I hope you too are somehow encouraged or awakened by this "inspired inspiration"...
______________________________________
Called & commissioned by God to serve Him through this ministry, I would be honored to come to speak to your group or church. I love to learn more about Jesus and His love and then share His Word with others.
Contact me:
Website www.justmorejesus.com and use the "contact me" tab.
Email me directly at: angie@justmorejesus.com
Facebook page: Just More Jesus
Mailing address: PO Box 1372, Brunswick, GA 31521
I look forward to hearing from you!!
One particular day I was busy at it and something different happened. Instead of my writing being thoughts that were originating in my head it was like I was hearing them. I began to put them down as they came to me and it was as if I was taking down dictation. I wrote as quickly as I could. Several minutes later, it stopped. Done. Silence. I haven't ever had an experience like that before and I haven't had one since. Even though it was only a few months back...I'd give anything to "hear" again--to hear like that every minute of every day.
Last week I began to think that I needed to share it here with you here. I do so with a certain amount of hesitation because it was such an unusual event. Lots of times when you share special things like this--no one else seems to "get it" the way you felt it. However, as is the case when God is leading me to do something. I have the thought. I almost always initially dismiss it because it is usually something I don't want to do right away. When I finally have the same thought over and over and nothing new comes to me I decide God's waiting on me to realize that I need to obey Him on that "step" before He gives me the next step to take.
So, maybe there is something in what follows that will encourage you in your journey. Yours isn't going to be what mine is, nor mine what yours is--but, you DO have a God given journey ahead. As you take steps of faith, as you walk in obedience, as you prepare...know this:
Persecution will come. Be ready for it. Recognize it for what it is--persecution. Proceed as though it did not happen. Check yourself against the Word. That is the only voice you should pay attention to. You may be surprised at the mouths from which persecution comes. Fear not. Proceed. Sit your heart in My hands to be guarded. Keep your emotions in check. Attacks will be directed at your weaknesses but your weaknesses are MY strengths. This is MY mission. My goals. Mine to defend. It is not your job to defend against attacks. The battle goes on even now over your head. I am fighting for you now. You will get Satan's attention. Be bold. Don't be deterred. Proceed as if you are running a race to a clearly marked finish line and as if you children's lives are at stake. This is no game. Souls linger in the balance. Your obedience to deliver messages from me will be crucial for the outcome of some soul's eternity. Don't give up. They are all around you--lost souls--blending into your life. Lost is a little word to describe the destiny of those souls. It is vital that you go--without fear. Bold. It won't be easy so you have been prepared. Expect difficulty. Be diligent to pray. Get others to pray for you, with you. My mission is more important that the oxygen you breathe. You don't go alone. God and a host of angels go with you. You aren't fighting for Me, I am fighting for you. Take My Word. It is imperative. It is time. There is no luxury here--only see the souls. There are real flames for lost souls. An eternity of mental and physical anguish awaits. That is why I call it saved. I am saving them from torment. Eternal torment. Your heart has been softened and prepared every day of your life--just for this. What you all think is important in life amounts to nothing. I see Kingdom pictures--you don't. Give them the vision. Kingdom knowledge. Kingdom vision. Kingdom senses. Be ready to feel the burden of the lost souls you are surrounded by. You will know the reason and feeling behind the tears that were shed over Jerusalem before the crucifixion. This isn't pretend or play. Don't forget, I am sending you. Stop questioning worthiness. You aren't worthy in your flesh but I have made you my child and your soul is paid for. It is not a question of worthiness. It is a question of necessity brought on by the immense love I feel for all my people. Why question worthiness? If your worthiness got you this mission then it'd be about you and not me. I love you. I love them. Do you understand love? No. You have no means by which to compare it or comprehend it--but you will. Hold on to ME. Go. I have equipped you. I DO see what lies ahead and I have all the necessary items. Weep over the lost. I want you to feel the necessity of the deliverance of my message. You haven't known "important" before now. Mission-minded. My Kingdom awaits. Listen to me child. I love you. I didn't make a mistake in choosing you for this. Don't forget that. Stay close to Me at all times. Keep refueling on My written Word. Focus on Me. Focus on lost-ness. Stay in Me. I've got this. I've got you. Go. Remember, you aren't going alone. Armies--do you hear me--full out armies go with you, ahead of you, around you, behind you--and your family. It won't be easy--but I've got it all. You are ready. I've got this.
I typed it as it was given and I know it kinda flips and flops around...but, they aren't my words to arrange. I won't try to add anything to that. Even a couple months later it is equally as powerful to me as it was that morning. It's as if He let me write down a pep-talk He had for me. After I finished writing it all down, I knew--somehow--that He wanted someone to read that back to me. I walked it right over to Abby and had her read it out loud to me. I've typed it up and I carry it around with me everywhere. I hope you too are somehow encouraged or awakened by this "inspired inspiration"...
______________________________________
Called & commissioned by God to serve Him through this ministry, I would be honored to come to speak to your group or church. I love to learn more about Jesus and His love and then share His Word with others.
Contact me:
Website www.justmorejesus.com and use the "contact me" tab.
Email me directly at: angie@justmorejesus.com
Facebook page: Just More Jesus
Mailing address: PO Box 1372, Brunswick, GA 31521
I look forward to hearing from you!!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Ok. I get it. I just don't like it.
Somehow I can easily remember all my hurts. In fact, somewhere deep inside me, there is probably a clip board with a neat list detailing each hurt and its corresponding offender. Some bigger, some smaller, each with its own scar. Some are confronted, settled, talked through, apologized for & forgiven. Some, not discussed, never apologized for, but mysteriously, through a work done in me by God, they too are completely forgiven. Then, there are those, not breathed about. Not spoken. Not admitted. Certainly never apologized for. Sure, they find themselves in prayers, in silent conversations with God...but only as a fleeting thought. Once in a while, for various reasons, the container that's been subduing the monster opens and a wild flush of brand new pain sweeps through me. Immediately, all over again, Hurt is out and wreaking havoc. Its fresh. I can feel it, smell it, & remember with unrelenting clarity. I'm able to wrestle Hurt back in his container and seal the lid. Whew! That's done...for a time.
What's that I feel now? It's kinda sour tasting. I feel kinda yucky. I might be a little bit angry. No, I'm a lot angry. I'm uncomfortable. I'm tired. I feel heavy. I might be stuck. If I didn't know better, I'd think I had concrete strapped to me. What did you just say to me? Don't push me because I am exhausted. I'm not sure why...but even still...don't you even breathe wrong. Watch your step because I can get down right vicious. Just try me.
Who is that whispering? God, is that YOU? What did you just say? Did I just hear the word "Forgive"? What are you bringing that up for? Oh, that. Yes God, she and I talked that through, she apologized to me and I gladly forgave her. Don't you remember when we did that? Or are you talking about that other thing. Well, you'll be pleased to know I managed to forgive that too. Look at me...I'm a forgiving machine. You are still whispering God, what is it that I'm missing? Oh stop. Surely you don't mean THAT! I mean, really God?! We hardly ever even talk about that. How did you even remember? I don't even like to bring it up. There is absolutely nothing good about even going there. Hurt lives there God, you know that. Why must we go knocking on his door and wake him up? Ugh! Don't you love me God? Why would you ask me to do go there when you know I don't like Hurt. You know how much I avoid him. It took me a long time to even make it through a day without being dominated by Him and yet you ask me to go see Him again? Besides, I've got that taken care of. Hurt is neatly hidden away. I never breathe a word of it to anyone else. Its done. Its easier if we just move on.
Oh wait, while I've got your ear God, I have been feeling kinda yucky. Maybe I'm working too hard. Maybe it's my age. But I am so tired. I feel rotten. Could you help me out with that? Give me some strength maybe? What did you say? Forgive? God, really now, you're kinda getting hung up on this "forgive" thing...geez! Can we not just talk about how I'm feeling and how I'm needing your help here...UNLESS... No. Surely not. This has to be a bad joke. You mean to tell me that keeping Hurt in that container all this time is draining me of energy? I'm tired because of Hurt?
Ok, I think I get it and I don't think I like it. Keeping Hurt hidden and contained, which I thought was just survival, you call unforgiveness? Well, what about MY feelings, God? After all, this is Hurt we are talking about. He didn't get his name because he drew it out of a hat. I've got some deep wounds here God. They still feel the same actually, no better, even after all this time. I clearly know that Your Word says you care about me and making me release Hurt from his container isn't something you do to someone you love. God, this isn't fun. What about my heart? I can't do this! Do what? Trust You? Hmmm, this won't be easy. But I am tired, this is heavy, and...You are God. I can do all things through You who gives me strength. Even things I clearly don't want to do!
I'm so glad I have you God. I'm so glad you care so much about my feelings. I'm grateful that you urge me to trust You enough to open that container. Let Hurt out. You assure me that you are going to heal my wounded heart caused by Hurt. You are going to heal me and since I finally quit fighting that container, you can take care of that festering bitterness that has slowly been oozing out and poisoning me. That's what I've been tasting...I knew it was sour. You are going to nurse me back to health while I put my faith in action and allow you to do two jobs at once...heal me and love through me...even those I deem unlovely. Let's be real. After all, I am, without a doubt, someone's unlovely.
I've always felt unforgiveness meant my feelings didn't matter, the wrong committed didn't matter, and I just needed to follow God's commands (drill sergeant style) and just put my hurt away. Be tough. Stand tall. Get over it! Then, I think, how much does that sound like a heavenly father who is "compassionate, gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love, faithful, maintaining love to thousands, forgiving wickedness, rebellion, sin & punishing the guilty." (Ex 34:6) Seems I wasn't fully understanding of this "forgiveness" thing. Its really not mine to do...God does it through me. My job: Surrender it to a trustworthy, loving, mighty God.
I have to re-learn this lesson on unforgiveness just about every time I realize I've got another hurt stuffed in a container. The pain is so real. The anger so justifiable. The lie we believe is that if I let God heal my hurt then the "offender" did nothing wrong. That convincing lie keeps us fighting a hurt a long time. We have to know God is a just God. More than anything He loves us and when we hurt, He hurts. Surrendering and forgiving isn't giving your stamp of approval to all those wrongs that hurt you, but it is giving God access to your heart to heal you and love you with safe, unfailing love.
____________________________________________
Called & commissioned by God to serve Him through this ministry, I would be honored to come to speak to your group or church. I love to learn more about Jesus and His love and then share His Word with others.
Contact me:
Website www.justmorejesus.com and use the "contact me" tab.
Email me directly at: angie@justmorejesus.com
Facebook page: Just More Jesus
Mailing address: PO Box 1372, Brunswick, GA 31521
I look forward to hearing from you!!
What's that I feel now? It's kinda sour tasting. I feel kinda yucky. I might be a little bit angry. No, I'm a lot angry. I'm uncomfortable. I'm tired. I feel heavy. I might be stuck. If I didn't know better, I'd think I had concrete strapped to me. What did you just say to me? Don't push me because I am exhausted. I'm not sure why...but even still...don't you even breathe wrong. Watch your step because I can get down right vicious. Just try me.
Who is that whispering? God, is that YOU? What did you just say? Did I just hear the word "Forgive"? What are you bringing that up for? Oh, that. Yes God, she and I talked that through, she apologized to me and I gladly forgave her. Don't you remember when we did that? Or are you talking about that other thing. Well, you'll be pleased to know I managed to forgive that too. Look at me...I'm a forgiving machine. You are still whispering God, what is it that I'm missing? Oh stop. Surely you don't mean THAT! I mean, really God?! We hardly ever even talk about that. How did you even remember? I don't even like to bring it up. There is absolutely nothing good about even going there. Hurt lives there God, you know that. Why must we go knocking on his door and wake him up? Ugh! Don't you love me God? Why would you ask me to do go there when you know I don't like Hurt. You know how much I avoid him. It took me a long time to even make it through a day without being dominated by Him and yet you ask me to go see Him again? Besides, I've got that taken care of. Hurt is neatly hidden away. I never breathe a word of it to anyone else. Its done. Its easier if we just move on.
Oh wait, while I've got your ear God, I have been feeling kinda yucky. Maybe I'm working too hard. Maybe it's my age. But I am so tired. I feel rotten. Could you help me out with that? Give me some strength maybe? What did you say? Forgive? God, really now, you're kinda getting hung up on this "forgive" thing...geez! Can we not just talk about how I'm feeling and how I'm needing your help here...UNLESS... No. Surely not. This has to be a bad joke. You mean to tell me that keeping Hurt in that container all this time is draining me of energy? I'm tired because of Hurt?
Ok, I think I get it and I don't think I like it. Keeping Hurt hidden and contained, which I thought was just survival, you call unforgiveness? Well, what about MY feelings, God? After all, this is Hurt we are talking about. He didn't get his name because he drew it out of a hat. I've got some deep wounds here God. They still feel the same actually, no better, even after all this time. I clearly know that Your Word says you care about me and making me release Hurt from his container isn't something you do to someone you love. God, this isn't fun. What about my heart? I can't do this! Do what? Trust You? Hmmm, this won't be easy. But I am tired, this is heavy, and...You are God. I can do all things through You who gives me strength. Even things I clearly don't want to do!
I'm so glad I have you God. I'm so glad you care so much about my feelings. I'm grateful that you urge me to trust You enough to open that container. Let Hurt out. You assure me that you are going to heal my wounded heart caused by Hurt. You are going to heal me and since I finally quit fighting that container, you can take care of that festering bitterness that has slowly been oozing out and poisoning me. That's what I've been tasting...I knew it was sour. You are going to nurse me back to health while I put my faith in action and allow you to do two jobs at once...heal me and love through me...even those I deem unlovely. Let's be real. After all, I am, without a doubt, someone's unlovely.
I've always felt unforgiveness meant my feelings didn't matter, the wrong committed didn't matter, and I just needed to follow God's commands (drill sergeant style) and just put my hurt away. Be tough. Stand tall. Get over it! Then, I think, how much does that sound like a heavenly father who is "compassionate, gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love, faithful, maintaining love to thousands, forgiving wickedness, rebellion, sin & punishing the guilty." (Ex 34:6) Seems I wasn't fully understanding of this "forgiveness" thing. Its really not mine to do...God does it through me. My job: Surrender it to a trustworthy, loving, mighty God.
I have to re-learn this lesson on unforgiveness just about every time I realize I've got another hurt stuffed in a container. The pain is so real. The anger so justifiable. The lie we believe is that if I let God heal my hurt then the "offender" did nothing wrong. That convincing lie keeps us fighting a hurt a long time. We have to know God is a just God. More than anything He loves us and when we hurt, He hurts. Surrendering and forgiving isn't giving your stamp of approval to all those wrongs that hurt you, but it is giving God access to your heart to heal you and love you with safe, unfailing love.
____________________________________________
Called & commissioned by God to serve Him through this ministry, I would be honored to come to speak to your group or church. I love to learn more about Jesus and His love and then share His Word with others.
Contact me:
Website www.justmorejesus.com and use the "contact me" tab.
Email me directly at: angie@justmorejesus.com
Facebook page: Just More Jesus
Mailing address: PO Box 1372, Brunswick, GA 31521
I look forward to hearing from you!!
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