Friday, March 26, 2010

New Beginning

I love new beginnings. I really do. I'm venturing into one now. I'm working (volunteer style) from home. I desperately needed to be back home. Too many reasons to list why. The point is, I'm here now. Thank you God. I've learned a few lessons and I'm sure I'll only learn more. From where I sit now I can make a few observations. I am not exactly like anyone else. I am me. However, there are basic truths about me as a person, as a woman, that I share with all of you. I started this blogging wanting to open wide the door that stays closed and locked preventing all of us from seeing the real person in each other. Breaking down the wall, taking off the masks, moving toward me being able to be me and you being able to be you. I hoped to do that by not being afraid to put out there what was real in my life and how I made my way with God carrying, dragging, and teaching me. (And I have done that. I have been honest. I have shared struggles...just keep reading...)

Until now, I've waited to post things as I had "A-ha Moments". As I would have an experience and end the experience with a clear lesson or Word that I felt God had shown me in direct response to that particular experience, I wanted to post it here. I wanted you to see that I struggle with the same things you do...but look what God showed me in the midst of this struggle. Needless to say...that's not really how my life is. No doubt I have the experiences...but they don't always end one with a clear "life lesson" before I find myself right smack dab in the midst of another experience. Therefore, I have been struggling with things to post. I wanted my posts to be helpful. To share with you what I'd learned by summing it all up like a story from beginning to end. I realize now that just sharing the experience with you will be help in and of itself.

Without going back and reading my old posts...I think I mentioned that I wanted to communicate with you just as if we were chatting or if I were writing you a letter. I journal ALL THE TIME and much of my journaling is as if I were writing a note to Jesus himself. As I was reading over what I wrote just this morning, I realized that what I had hoped to do with this blogging, I really wasn't doing at all. I'm making posts, but they are too "prepared". They aren't just spitting the stuff out there like my journaling is. I'm not just sharing & talking, letting you see inside a scared, fragile, grouchy, chaotic woman that maybe on some level you can identify with. Of course, I want to protect the privacy of me and my family, so some discretion is necessary. I know now that not every post will have a solution or a signed, sealed, and delivered lesson in a package. I maintain that I will be honest. Freeing myself up not to have to have a "lesson" attached hopefully I will have a lot more to say. After all, I experience a lot more than I learn. :)

I'm not going to make any promises about how often I'll get something posted because as I have seen already, I've not done a very good job. I'll just hope to surprise you.'s the post I said I'd lesson, just honest, just me. (By the way, I was surprised that anyone would even notice I hadn't posted in a while because I didn't even realize anyone was reading. Thanks for reading.)