So as I'm doing my journal writing over the weekend and expelling my newest list of complaints, concerns and questions, God spoke the following to me. Maybe there is at least one other person who struggles with control issues...
Let go of what you are used to. Let Me work through you. Be open to a different way. You do have My power within you but you aren't completely trusting me. You still want to make Me fit into a mold. That's not Me. That's you. Your fingerprints are all over that. "Same" is comfortable to you. Trust...um, not so much. I want to work in you but uncomfortable is where I do my work. When you find yourself in uncomfortable, you look outside yourself for safety, protection & guidance. If I am the person you look to, I give you what is necessary for the task. I give you the tools you need, the grace to deal with the circumstances & I bathe you in peace. That's a bath you want. You associate misery, frustration & anxiety with uncomfortable. None of those words describe Me. Where in you are you so hung up on holding onto control? Search within yourself, find out where, then together we'll go there and start loosening the white knuckle grip you have on it. Uncomfortable is a place of learning. I can mold you there. I can re-write some false messages that have been carved on your heart. I can nurture you. What stands in the way of a deeper and more open, honest relationship with Me? You. Your insistence on control. Your fear to trust. You have been living for years by false messages. When you are removed from the grip of those false message, that's growth. That's freedom. The tighter you hold on to control in any area, the more blinded you are to see Me, to know Me, to learn my nature, and to feel my love. My love is like none other. You don't even have vocabulary to describe its fullness and completeness. I don't hurt. I'm good. I'm safe. I'll keep pounding this same message on your heart until you let go. "Uncomfortable" is only uncomfortable leading up to the release. Once you release it all to Me, you open the channel for My grace, love and peace to flow into that sacred spot you work so hard to protect. Your fears choke My power out of your life. Trust isn't a bad word. I know every single thing that has tightened your grip. As long as you have it, I can't heal it. You just think that control feels good. Control isn't living. Control isn't freedom. You have no idea what that controlled place will feel like when its replaced with My peace. Its your choice. I must have access to all of you. What will it be? What do you really want? Control or Me?
Be open to "uncomfortable", it's the road to Me.
This again was a time when God spoke to me through my pencil. I shared it here as I received it. I pray someone else is touched by His messages to me and I hope too that you are helped in an area where I continue to struggle--control. Ugh...it's a tough one for me. It's a message He keeps repeating to me. Thanks for allowing me to share.