Secrets need grace and love.

I've had the opportunity lately to be around some beautiful souls who are dealing very quietly with a variety of struggles.  It hurts me to see that and I feel nearly compelled to nurture them.  I wish we as a society felt more comfortable with living our struggles out loud.  Yet, we who struggle risk harsh judgement and we feel we'd be crazy to share one whisper of our secrets and private battles.  What we are choosing instead is to hurt alone and in seclusion.  Slap that pretty face on.  Grin and bear it.  Hold it all together.  Keep the hurt or shame or pain right behind the teeth of that pretty smile.

Misery.  Played very well, right into the hands of our enemy.  (I do not like him.)  He'd not be any more effective at crippling people if he walked right up in our homes breaking legs and binding bodies. He loves secrets.  He loves hurts.  He loves false fronts.  He loves seclusion.  If you have a secret...and nearly ALL of us do...before you know it, the enemy will have that secret in his hands and beat you with it like it's a baseball bat.


What are we to do?  Air our dirty laundry to everyone?  Breathe a sigh of relief.  That's not necessary.  But you do need to be taking it to God every single second that it rolls through your head.  If you are not sitting it at the feet of God, odds are, the enemy has a hold of it and he is tireless as he beats you down and ties you up.       


Just a few lies the enemy may be telling you about your secret:

• You should really be ashamed.  
• People will never understand how you did that.
• Sure other people do bad things, but not that bad.
• You've already done it now, you might as well enjoy it while it lasts.
• You deserve it!
• Everyone around you does things they shouldn't, why don't you get to enjoy it too.
• As long as no one knows, it's okay.
• You are the only one who stands to be hurt so what does it matter to anyone else?
• They deserve the way you treat them.
• Don't be such a bother, no one cares what you feel like.
• One more time can't hurt.
• You need to look out for your self, if someone gets hurt, too bad.
• You are in too deep, there is no turning around now.
• If you were smarter, nicer, or prettier--they wouldn't have treated you like that.

BIGGER   FATTER   DANGEROUS   LIE:

• The fact that you are where you are is your own fault.  No need to even try to take this to God!  How many times can He forgive you, pick you up, help you out?  You aren't good enough to even ask for His help.  It's too late.  No way He can love you now.  (LIE.  LIE.  LIE.  Jesus died for you knowing you were a big fat mess without Him.  He did it to show you His love for you. Romans 5:8)    

Whatever situation you find yourself silently dealing with....it can be powerfully destructive.  It can be bigger than you.  It can be huge.  It may look to you like there is no solution and no way out.  BUT...it CANNOT be bigger than God.  You don't have the one problem that is going to be too difficult for Him.  Listen to this little tid-bit...pretty important part here:  Nothing can separate us from the love God has for us.  NOTHING!  (Romans 8:37-39)  His love is pure.  His love is safe.  His love will not fail you. (1 Corinthians 13:1-8)  You can trust Him.

Get to it...go tell God your secrets.  Don't wait another single second because telling Him keeps Satan from being able to use them to hurt you more.  Sometimes Satan will convince you to start worrying about that secret again and at that point...remind him that Jesus has all your secrets.  While Jesus has them, they are His to deal with!  You may have to remind Satan frequently at first...but as fast as your mouth can move, you can do it...again and again!

As we live day to day, we have to realize that everyone has junk.  Everyone.  Try really hard to extend some grace to someone today.  If someone chews your head off down to your shoulders, maybe they've had a bad day and could stand a grace pass.  Stay away from assumptions.  Don't jump to conclusions.  You never know what's going on behind closed doors.  Instead, try to ask how people are, then stop and listen to their answer.  Smile at someone.  Pass out some hugs.  Give away some grace passes.  They don't cost you anything and you never know what it might mean to someone else. 

Grace of Christ

I read the following in a commentary when preparing for a lesson.  It really resonated with me and I've re-read it often.  I wanted to share it here for any others of you who may especially appreciate the grace of Christ.  His grace not only covers our trespasses but also our shortcomings in fully understanding who He is.  This author described it more beautifully than I could have described my own feelings.  You may have to read it more than once to fully soak it in...I did...and do.  Enjoy...

The only God Paul had known was a "task mater who paid strictly for service done".  His idea of God was the seat of his trouble.  With a soul profoundly religious by nature, he yearned for a god whom no lawbook could provide...He never found his sense of worth, dignity & adequacy until he experienced the grace of Christ.  The assurance of the psalmist, "He restoreth my soul" was fulfilled for Paul only in Jesus.  Grace therefore brought health, gladness, courage, & worth-wileness to Paul.  It also brought him into proper mental focus & fellowship with the God he had so misunderstood.  He found that grace, not law, revealed God's real nature.

Yippy

Oh my coolness!

I have never professed to be a techie/computer guru or anything of the like.  I am slow to learn some things sometimes.  I have figured out how to help others share this blog.  Now, under each post there are new share options.

Learning, always learning.  :)

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Just say it.

I've had more than one experience in the past 48 hours where I've come face to face with emotions.  Emotions of my children, emotions of my own & emotions of friends.  I'm a very emotional person.  I love people.  I love to love on people.  I. Just. Love. People.  I've learned a lot about emotions in the last few years and I've learned it the hard way.  I've learned that every body has them.  I've learned that my angry won't look like your angry and my sad won't look like your sad.  My hurt might cry...your hurt might fight--but it's all still hurt, it's all still saddness, and it's all still anger.

Along with this heart that craves to love on people, my ears have been sensitized to hear people differently.  I don't know when it happened but at some point when I'd visit with people I wouldn't just hear the details of what they were saying, I'd hear the emotion driving their perceptions of those details.  Was that confusing?  What I mean is, when someone would share with me how they were angry with someone and about a disagreement they may have had.  I wouldn't just hear the words they repeated to me from the disagreement.  I'd hear how they FELT when they heard whatever words had been spoken to them.  There is a difference.  Because you see, whatever we feel when someone says something to us has a HUGE impact & determines what comes out of our mouths next.

What is my hearts desire?  Well, each time I've been slapped in the face with these emotions in the last 2-3 days, I keep coming back to the same point.  If we can be present enough in the midst of the situation when we are offended to say to ourselves, Wow, that comment really hurt me.  I can't believe they just said that to me.  And then be able to hold our tongues for just a second while we collect our next sentence so that when it is spoken it sounds something like, That comment you just made hurt me.  After all, didn't it?  I mean, that is what we felt, right?  It is the emotion that's behind the comment that usually comes out of our mouths sounding more like Well, you know what?!  I don't like the way you never pick up your dirty clothes!!  Ok, so what do their clothes have to do with anything?  I'll tell you.  Their lack of picking up their clothes is two things:  1) Us thinking of something to complain about--something they do wrong and maybe even hurt them back, and 2) an attempt to defend our hearts. 

So, did we solve anything?  Nope.  Why didn't we just say it?  Why?  Because, it's risky.  It's vulnerable.

I'll take this opportunity to throw myself under the bus.  I've got this bucket of hurt and bitterness I lug around.  This is a busy bucket because I'm constantly letting God hold my bucket for a while and then inevitably, going and getting it back again.  After wearing myself out (cause its a heavy bucket) I take it back to Him.  Again.  Recently, someone came to me and shared with me a really positive thing about someone who, in the past, has been very hurtful to me and yes, it's in my bucket still.  My immediate, unfiltered and defensive response?  I'm done with them, I don't really care.  (Yes, I know, beautiful, right?!)  After a few hours, I had to return to the person who shared the positive news with me and appolgize to them.  You see, the person who shared the news with me has never been hurt by the other.  Actually, the person that shared the positive news with me shared it because they were happy for their friend.  The person that shared with me, loves both of us.  So, what did I manage to do--create another offense.  I did apologize for my nasty comment,  which (thankfully) was warmly received.  

I am not naive enough to think that just saying it will create world peace.  I'm well aware that additional injury may occur to our hearts.  This too was just modeled when two people who love each other and whom I love dearly stood on opposite sides of an offense.  After the incident, after emotions were cooled off, one party said to the other, "That hurt my feelings earlier when you ___________."  However, unfortunately, the other person didn't really hear and listen.  The first words returned were, "Well, you shouldn't have ___________."  (Oh no!  Adding insult to injury.)  The lesson to be learned here--sometimes our defenses (if we feel we MUST share them) should either be shared with a third party (oooo, maybe even God) -or- carefully worded in a way that doesn't end up leaving an already injured person, feeling attacked again.

If there's such a chance of further injury, if sharing honest emotions could possibly lead to more hurt then why do it?  Because more times than not it calms the water.  AND, in the end, a deeper relationship is created.  If we'll just say it--just man up and put it out there--we end up dealing with truth.  We end up taking off the masks we wear.  We end up building real relationships.  We end up growing as a person (no, not physically).  Best of all, we end up able to show more love and in return, get more love.  Who doesn't like love?   

If we can start to just say it on the smaller, safer issues we'll get practice.  We will see how it dissolves arguments and allows others to see the real person we are.  There are still going to be offenses.  There will still be times when we risk telling the real emotion of our hearts to someone and they throw yet another insult or further defend their previous attack.  When that happens, the very best thing to do is turn around, hold your breath, and tell Jesus.  I know it's not the easiest thing to do or more people would do it.  It's much easier to hurl an insult or sling an attack. 

We aren't taking the wimpy way out, we are taking the way to our Savior's lap.  Now that, THAT is an awesome place to be! 

I challenge you mate, try it.


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Control or Me?

So as I'm doing my journal writing over the weekend and expelling my newest list of complaints, concerns and questions, God spoke the following to me.  Maybe there is at least one other person who struggles with control issues... 

Let go of what you are used to.  Let Me work through you.  Be open to a different way.  You do have My power within you but you aren't completely trusting me.  You still want to make Me fit into a mold.  That's not Me.  That's you.  Your fingerprints are all over that.  "Same" is comfortable to you.  Trust...um, not so much.  I want to work in you but uncomfortable is where I do my work.  When you find yourself in uncomfortable, you look outside yourself for safety, protection & guidance.  If I am the person you look to, I give you what is necessary for the task.  I give you the tools you need, the grace to deal with the circumstances & I bathe you in peace.  That's a bath you want.  You associate misery, frustration & anxiety with uncomfortable.  None of those words describe Me.  Where in you are you so hung up on holding onto control?  Search within yourself, find out where, then together we'll go there and start loosening the white knuckle grip you have on it.  Uncomfortable is a place of learning.  I can mold you there.  I can re-write some false messages that have been carved on your heart.  I can nurture you.  What stands in the way of a deeper and more open, honest relationship with Me?  You.  Your insistence on control.  Your fear to trust.  You have been living for years by false messages.  When you are removed from the grip of those false message, that's growth.  That's freedom.  The tighter you hold on to control in any area, the more blinded you are to see Me, to know Me, to learn my nature, and to feel my love.  My love is like none other.  You don't even have vocabulary to describe its fullness and completeness.  I don't hurt.  I'm good.  I'm safe.  I'll keep pounding this same message on your heart until you let go.  "Uncomfortable" is only uncomfortable leading up to the release.  Once you release it all to Me, you open the channel for My grace, love and peace to flow into that sacred spot you work so hard to protect.  Your fears choke My power out of your life.  Trust isn't a bad word.  I know every single thing that has tightened your grip.  As long as you have it, I can't heal it.  You just think that control feels good.  Control isn't living.  Control isn't freedom.  You have no idea what that controlled place will feel like when its replaced with My peace.  Its your choice.  I must have access to all of you.  What will it be?  What do you really want?  Control or Me?

Be open to "uncomfortable", it's the road to Me.

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This again was a time when God spoke to me through my pencil.  I shared it here as I received it.  I pray someone else is touched by His messages to me and I hope too that you are helped in an area where I continue to struggle--control.  Ugh...it's a tough one for me.  It's a message He keeps repeating to me.  Thanks for allowing me to share.

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www.justmorejesus.com

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Dear Circumstances: Move.

Get out of my way circumstances.  You are attempting to block my view of my Savior.  Umm, not something I'm willing to let happen.  Sure, you might get away with it for a while, but I refuse to live with blocked vision. 

How many times do I utter the words, "Ugh, I just don't know what to do!"  Usually while I'm either running my fingers through my hair, crying my eyeballs out, pacing the floor or all three.  Has it ever occurred to you that we--me and you--make living this life too difficult? 

Have you ever found yourself wishing someone would just sweep in and take up the fight for you?  How about take up the fight and let you rest, fill you with peace, heal you, and love you while they fight for you?  Have you ever felt overwhelmed and wondered how much longer you can keep it all up?  I have.  For a very simple example (Even though it sure didn't feel simple at the time!!), I remember when all of my three girls were small and I was dropping them off at daycare before going to work when I ran into my brother.  He was bringing his children to the same daycare.  He walked over to one of my little ones and picked her up which gave him a good view of a few fingernails that needed a little trimming.  Okay, maybe they needed a little more than trimming, maybe they needed cutting, like last month.  Now, as I'm sure you can relate, I was juggling three balls at one time and if I even thought about resting, one of the balls threatened to fall in the floor and then everything would come crashing down.  I was, like many of you, a wife and mother & I worked full time.  In my juggling act, I was just releasing one ball milli-seconds before I had to catch the next.  The picture I am trying to draw is--soon and very soon it was all going to crash down around me.  I was overwhelmed. 

So, my brother has my little girl and he (not meaning any harm) says, "Does your uncle need to cut your fingernails for your mama so you won't scratch anybody?"  Yep, that was the straw.  Without intending to hurt me, he had called me out and drawn attention to something I was failing to do in front of all the super-mama's & daddy's,  all the employees of the day care & (the very worst critic of all) me!  What he might as well have said was, "Oh my goodness!  Look at these horrible fingernails!  Your mama needs to get with it.  Can't she do anything right?  Have your nails ever been cut?!  Bless your little, neglected heart.  I'm a perfect daddy and I am the best fingernail cutter, ever.  I'll take care of you sweet baby, since your mama obviously can't." 

Yes, I know.  Drastic exaggeration.  But that's what my heart did to me that day.  I was so tired.  Today I don't deal with cutting fingernails anymore but I still have "stuff".  There are always going to be things in our lives.  Sometimes they are little things, like fingernails.  Other times, they are things that sneak up behind us and obliterate us like a bomb, drastically altering life as we know it.  Without fail, we struggle to get our footing.  We trip over hurt and confusion.  We stumble over worry and fear.  We hold on desperately to control and pride.  We look for possible solutions here and there.  We may even stop and try to re-focus but circumstances fill our eyes and feelings scream in our ears.

Maybe you say, don't my feelings matter?  They are real!  And what about those circumstances, they are pretty stinkin' real too!  Yes, you are right.  Your circumstances are real and your feelings ABSOLUTELY matter.  Not just to me, but even more importantly, to your Savior.  It would be really easy to think Here she is talking about stupid fingernails but my circumstances make fingernails look like a play-doh.  I know right where your coming from.  You've got one of those "bomb-type" of situations and your desperate.  Good news:  the same truths apply to both big and small circumstances.  As long as you are focusing on them, you can't see Jesus.  Peter walked on water toward Jesus, until he looked at the wind & waves. (Matt 14:28-31)  You might have one heck of a battle in front of you.  You may even be sitting right smack-dab in the center of one right now.  You may be at a crossroads with the direction of your life.  You might have some things that seem to have no solution.  You know what?  That isn't your fight.  It isn't your fight!  For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us.  (2 Chron 20:12)   So, is that it, do you just face eminent defeat?  Oh but no!  Because scripture goes on to say, We do not know what to do, BUT our eyes are upon You!  Verse 15 of the same chapter says, This is what the Lord says to you:  Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army (or your circumstances).  For the battle is not yours, but God's.  AMEN! (and thank goodness, right?!)

Are you tired?  Are you overwhelmed?  Are your circumstances hurting you?  Are they clouding your outlook?  God Almighty is the only answer. Exodus 14:14 says He will fight for YOU, sweet & dearly loved child, and you shall keep your peace.  He is with us right now.  He helps us.  He fights for us.  (2 Chron 32:8) 

Let's not try to do this living thing on our own.  Let's not try to make it so difficult.  That's why we have a Savior!  Let's take our eyes off the wind & waves and put them back on Him. 

Dear Circumstances, move.


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Ramblings...

Hi Friends of mine!!  I hope you all are doing just g-r-e-a-t (Tony the tiger style).  I'm really working on new ideas for Just More Jesus.  I'm thinking of ways to get the word spread.  I'm praying about it constantly and I have full confidence that God will make a way.  YOU may be a part of that so run your mouth.  Tell anyone and everyone you know.  In my efforts to spread the word, I made these videos (out of the box living for me!!) and I've gotten some really nice comments about the first video so I figured, why not make another one issuing a public "Thank You"--Which you may see below:  (If you happen to have seen the "Thank You" video on YouTube, this is the same video here.  I've only done two so far.  I've posted both on YouTube and both here.)

Isn't it funny that I managed to talk for two more minutes after I said I'm not gonna keep you any longer.  Sorry!!

On another note, I also should probably explain that even though that particular Sunday School class flopped, I have been very fortunate to lead other Sunday School classes and Bible Studies.  I am very grateful for those opportunities and for the sweet, dependable people who were faithful to show up for each meeting.  I am appreciative of their efforts.  I can love to teach and share God's Word but I've gotta have people willing to listen or otherwise I'm like a little girl playing school with her dolls.  So, those of you who have been nice enough to attend the classes and studies--I'm forever grateful.  If I'm going to tell a (not so positive) experience I had, I need to be willing to share a positive one.  Just so happens I actually have one (smile, wink, wink).  Right after I tried to start that class that I refer to in the video, I began, also through the church, a six week Bible study that I was inspired to write.  The first night we were to meet you can know I was very nervous.  Let's not forget that I had just had the multiple no-show experiences.  Now, please don't misunderstand me here.  I know that it isn't about numbers.  The number of people present in no way determines how the Holy Spirit shows up and works.  However, for a girl who had just come off of a rather humiliating experience with the Sunday School class, God decided to baby me a little.  We had so many people show up that we had to move to a larger room and bring in extra chairs.  Wow, how humbling.  Don't think God can't do things for you.  He can!  He does!  He's teaching us when we think we're just "living" day to day.  The lessons are there, the questions is, am I looking and listening.

In this life we are living, it's very easy to get so busy that we don't notice anything other than how behind we are at work, how tired we are, what a mess our houses are, what bills are overdue, who has a doctor's appointment & what on earth everyone in my house is going to eat tonight...BUT, I am challenging myself & you too this upcoming week.  Step outside your box.  Find a friend to say hi to that you haven't spoken to in a while, check on a neighbor, call a family member you don't speak with regularly, send a real letter to someone in the real mail (I love to get real mail instead of just bills, don't you?!), do something out of your ordinary rat race to connect with a person.  It only takes a few minutes and you have no idea the impact your few minutes may have on their life.  If we aren't careful (me included) we can get so comfy in our own lives that we cease our outside of the box involvement.  When you start getting yourself alone in your own world, you are in dangerous territory.  You become easy prey for Satan to start selling you lies.  I know this one.  Perhaps you sit on the end where you need someone to reach out to you.  If you feel that way and you realize it--please REACH OUT.  I know its hard.  I've been there (recently).  I guarantee you whatever contact you have will begin to turn your perspective.  If you can't muster up the courage to do anything else, you can go to my website www.justmorejesus.com and use the "contact me" tab to send me an email.  I will get back to you.  Promise.  God doesn't want us to be alone.  He intends for us to fellowship with each other, encourage each other, cry with each other, laugh with each other--just build relationships.  They are the ONLY thing we get to take with us into eternity. 

PS------->   I love you--but more importantly--your Savior loves you.